My Crock-pot, My Wife

I keep forgetting I’m not a man…from the late 50’s.

I arrive home from work, flip the Buick’s car keys in the crystal candy dish, stow my briefcase, run my hands through my Brylcreem-ed hair, fix a martini while bellowing, “honey, what’s for dinner?”   With the exception of the Buick and the Brylcreem, this is me at least three nights out of seven. And my “honey”?  I can assure you it is not my husband…he married me for MY cooking skills.  Rather, I am speaking to and of my Crock-pot; that sweet thing on the counter who has turned out a lovely dinner after slaving away all day. 

Crock-pots have always been little wives (I have six of them) to me not out of any sexist disrespect but because they are competent and reliable members of the family whom you can leave at home all day to produce the evening’s meal.  Whether you are a man living in the 50’s or a now-now sort of person, we all have to eat and there is no one on the planet who doesn’t appreciate a meal prepared for you by someone, or something, else.  I’m a late baby boomer, therefore referring to a Crock-pot as a Wife…or an Electric Mom comes easily to me.  Pick your own moniker, you get the idea.

While discussing this topic with a good friend and a fellow cook, the point of “why not just do slow cooking on stovetop?” The best difference is you can leave the Crock-pot at home alone all day without fear of an open flame.  She won’t burn down the house or dry out the pot roast.  I’m the first to enjoy a bubbling pot of beef stew on the stove during a cold winter day as the cats and I snooze in front of a crackling fireplace.  While that is good living, that is also rare.  Today’s world demands multitasking…work, work work, pay the bills, call your mother, feed yourself, work some more. 

Thanks to modern specialty products, Crock-pot cooking is easier than ever. There are many well-seasoned and flavored sauces and herb blends on the market these days that all you have to do, literally, is add meat and heat.  Or don’t add meat, add beans and vegetables. So it stands to reason the Crock-pot makes deserves a space on the counter more than ever.  Here are some ideas.

Frontier Soups makes a line of pre-packaged dried soups perfect for slow cooking…either by stove top or Wife, er, Crock-pot.  While this company features an entire line of items promising a meal in 30 minutes or less, the longer cooking bean soups (which I think are tastier) can easily be put to a Crock-pot.  The company encourages this with slow cooker alternatives published on their website.  Their ingredients are top notch and follow their serving suggestions of meat and additional fresh ingredients to yield a very satisfying meal.  The thing about soup…you are completely in charge. You control salt (use low sodium chicken broth) and the quality and quantity of other ingredients. There is also the choice of adding meat…or not.

Another approach to Crock-Pot cooking, is to your favorite cut of meat add one of the many recent entries of fancy sauces now available in specialty/gourmet.  These have many names: simmering sauces, grill/grille sauces, marinade-dipping sauces, oven sauces. I’ll give you a few highlights:

Robert Rothschild Farms Anna Mae’s Smoky Sweet Oven and Grill Sauce: simply pour this over a pork shoulder, simmer all day in a Crock-pot, and you have pulled pork sandwiches;

Robert Rothschild Farms Roasted Pineapple Habanero Dip: pour over frozen meatballs, heat in the Crock-pot for an hour or two and voila!…perfect sweet and sour spicy meatballs as an entrée or an appetizer;

Stonewall Kitchen Honey BBQ Sauce: as the name implies, this is a fancy BBQ sauce on the sweet side perfect for a couple of pork chops and/or boneless ribs slow cooked for hours;

Elki’s General Tsao Asian Sauce: you can create a healthier version of the General Tsao deep fried chicken by merely letting the Wife slow cook a boneless, skinless chicken breast slathered in this for a few hours.  This company also has an excellent line of simmering sauces in a range of taste profiles…a very excellent Chimichurri, a light and lovely Garlic Scampi Sauce, and an outstanding Rojo Loco Mexican Sauce.  All are great additions to the simplest cuts of meat cooked in oven or in Crock-Pot.

Don’t have a Crock-Pot?  Go get one. You can have one for under $20 and the good news about the modern versions is there is no more Harvest Gold or Avocado Green trimmed with dancing mushrooms and peppers.  Or spend a bit more get a beaut with more options and more room. These great little helpers, with today’s great tasting additions, may be some of the best cooking you’ll ever do.

Grudge Match: Betty and Duncan vs. The Contessa

  

Baking mixes. Gourmet or Not? Let’s discuss.

I grew up thinking real baking came from a box of Betty Crocker or Duncan Hines. “I made this cake” meant “I added two eggs and a ¼ cup of milk to a box of powdered stuff and followed the rest of the directions on the box.” It was a lovely oblivious life that led us all to believe those lightweight yellow cakes we made and topped with canned chocolate icing was real honest to goodness baking in pure form.

My grandmother and older aunts tsk-tsked at these modern baking options saying nothing could compare to “from scratch baking”. And indeed, none of the box mixes in the late 60’s, 70’s, even the 80’s really ever could. My mother, who in the very early years of our family made beautiful and delicious birthday cakes from scratch only to abandoned the hard labor and embraced Betty Crocker as her family grew to five children who couldn’t tell the difference. American households wanted easy and convenient. Women with five children had no business making a cake from scratch. Hell, one of the kids could drown in the gold fish bowl while you were sifting flour.

As I said…it was a lovely oblivious life until a purist spirit New Englander looking to make a buck, Martha Stewart, entered the picture. She demanded we all take an accounting of our lives and work to make them more beautiful. “It’s a good thing” meant we returned to the salt mines. I joined in. I made cakes from scratch discovering it was less about following a recipe than knowing a bit about science. It calls for exact measurements and weights, just the right amount of mixing, eggs at room temperature, softened butter, yada, yada, yada. In the end the thing I discovered was becoming a good baker requires practice, practice, practice. It is a skill that is earned and honed by doing it often. Who has the time?

Fortunately, America’s specialty food manufacturers have gotten serious about developing baking mixes and offer convenience and salvation once again to busy baker wanna-bes. Today we have marvelous options offering no-fail baked goods ranging from scones, quick breads, coffee cakes to truly outstanding dessert cakes of multi layers and cupcakes of every flavor and hue. Even ganache icing is available with a few quick strokes of the whisk and a couple of tablespoons of butter (room temp, of course).

I am not a baker. And I’ve tried. Today’s baking mixes are especially appealing to me who likes to show off but I don’t have a lot of time to devote to it. I am especially fond of the baking mixes by The Barefoot Contessa, a line shepherded and developed by Ina Garten herself who truly has a keen eye for great taste with convenience. She demands a bit more fresh ingredients than most box mixes…that is, you have to add real butter, sometimes a lot of butter, sometimes cream or fresh lemon juice, etc, depending on what you are making. The results are always spot-on delicious (as long as you follow her directions to the T). The thing that makes the expenditure worth it (her mixes cost anywhere from $8.00 to $20.00 retail) is that the manufacturer takes care of the high end dry ingredients. You receive sifted cake flour, ultra fine sugar, very good chocolate, fresh baking powder, soda, and so on. Think about it. If you were to go to the store and purchase these items, you’d be out the $8-$20 bucks in no time and unless you bake all of the time, you’d end up moving these around the pantry for the year before throwing them out.

Other mixes I can recommend for good taste and quick-quick convenience are Canterbury Naturals and Stonewall Kitchen. Canterbury Naturals, as the name implies, has only natural ingredients with no preservatives, and calls for the bare minimum of additional ingredients, such as one egg or a cup of water…I especially like the Canterbury Naturals “Little Grandma Apple Cake”…you cannot mess this one up, I’ve tried. I also like Stonewall Kitchen for their prolific line of baking mix choices. I’m not as crazy about their muffins and cookie mixes (although the Gingerbread cookies are quite good), but biscuit, scones, quick bread and pound cake mixes are always top drawer and no fail.

So calibrate your ovens (you should do this occasionally, you know) and dust off the mixer, grab a box and bring back the after school snack. See below for a “cheat”…something I call making a box mix better.

I’m Barefoot in Outrageous Espresso Brownies

Bake the Barefoot Contessa Outrageous Brownies as per package directions. Cool.

In a small bowl, whisk together 2 T. water, 2 t. espresso powder, 1 t. vanilla extract, 1 ½ c. powdered sugar, 1 T. softened butter. Pour this glaze over cooled brownies and refrigerate until set (about one hour). Try not to eat them all at once…you could go blind.

***Note: the brownies are just very delicious by themselves as directed by package directions. The above is a suggestion for when Martha Stewart is coming over to see how you’ve been doing.

I am King Kong

There is a little company tucked away in Oklahoma who, from here, I can make out the clickety clack cadence of “I think I can, I think I can”.  And in thinking they can, they did, by producing the best pepper jam in the universe.

“What the heck is a pepper jam?”, you ask.  Nectar of the Gods it is but back to that and all the neato things you can do with one in a moment.  First, I want to pay due homage to the creators of the Red Hot Lover, the best pepper jam in the universe. Yes I know I already said that.

The Prairie Gypsies, a mouthful of a name, began and still maintain a catering business feeding all of the hungry brides and their hungrier wedding parties in Oklahoma City.  Anyone who has fed brides and dealt with their mothers deserves the highest honor of a Girl Scout patch for patience.  Well, between weddings they grew lots of stuff in their home gardens and started making various jams, jellies, etc., coming one day upon on a “mess of peppers”.  With this they made magic by adding chili powder and cider vinegar. As it happened to be on or close to Valentine’s Day, they christened their lovely red goo The Red Hot Lover. A side note here is they have a full line of lovely homemade jams, jellies, mustards, and even some salad dressings.

The Lover’s cute name is part of the mystic, I admit, but the darn thing tastes so good.  They make it with FOUR kinds of peppers: red and yellow bells (counts as one pepper), serranos (long, skinny peppers that are a bitch to seed and chop); jalapeno; and, the meanie of them all, habanero. Given all that firepower, the Lover is actually rather mild. The Gypsies say somewhere in the process of cooking it together with the vinegar and sugar, the heat is tamed. They still cook their entire shelf stable food line themselves and when The Lover is on deck the place clears for the pepper fumes.  Whatever the cost to their respiratory systems, the end product is a smooth, sweet, yet savory, jam with just a hit of an afterburn.

Pepper jams in general run the gamit of colors, textures, and temperatures. One would guess these started on the farm like most jellies and jams when peppers were plentiful and this was a mere means to preserve the harvest. They became akin to chutneys in that they were served with meats as a relish rather than served with breakfast as a condiment to breads.  These depart from the sweet sweet of a traditional jam by offering a savory component that is all attitude.  It’s all a crazy good balance somehow.

We all know someone who has dumped a jar of pepper/savory jam over a hunk of cream cheese and indeed that seems to be its most popular use in these modern times. I would be willing to bet this particular thing has made rounds at every bunko Christmas party in the United States.  The Gypsies go one better with a basic cheese ball recipe they call “Gone in 60 Seconds” which is no more than cream cheese, shredded cheddar, chopped green onion and pecan, over which is spooned The Lover and then served with crackers. I’ve personally seen little well dressed ladies with diamond rings use real pilates muscle to make their way to the buffet table when this thing is at the party.  And this particular recipe has made Red Hot Lover a local/regional legend.  I’ve included this recipe below…try it and thank me later.

The Red Hot Lover and any pepper jam can be used a side dish with roasted meat…again, like a chutney. Other uses can be as a glaze for pork tenderloin or chicken breast at the grill. Spread a couple of spoonfuls over your cornbread mix just before it goes into the oven (I’m not kidding); serve it with fajitas; make baked beans with it; glaze a ham with it (still not kidding); thin it a bit by heating it on the stove top for an eggroll dip.

And yes, by all means pour it over a hunk of cream cheese and go to a party. Just watch for those too rich, too thin women with big earrings and charm bracelets…they throw a mean elbow to the eye to get to it.

PS: what’s the deal with the sock monkey in the picture? That’s Rex, my husband made him for me years ago when we were dating (another story, another time), giving us the “King Kong”. That’s sock monkey speak for “thumbs up on this one”. We’ll see him from time to time for really special things.

GONE IN 60 SECONDS:

1 c. shredded cheddar cheese
1 c. chopped pecans
1 c. chopped green onion
1/4 c. mayo (for a looser dip) OR 1/2 c. softened cream cheese (if you prefer a formed ball or torta)
1/4 c. to 1/2 c. Red Hot Lover Pepper Jam

Combine these ingredients and chill for a few hours. Spoon the jam over the top just before you serve with your favorite crackers.

Mustard. The Shock and Awesome Secret Weapon.

I suggest we take a look at mustard for the character it really is.  I liken it to Peter Parker, Clark Kent, or Bruce Wayne in that in public it appears to be a mild mannered, all-round good sort of fellow.  He gets along with everyone, always comes to the party but stays in the background, but rarely gets asked to dance.  Later, back in the Bat Cave or when mankind is in danger, he reveals his true nature: a buffed up, lean and mean, no-nonsense super hero capable of totally changing your day.

I’ve had a secret love affair with mustard for years.  Most folks think hot dogs and hamburgers…I see sauces, vinaigrettes, and romance. Even before my entry into the food business I’ve had two or three jars as reserve in the pantry to the four or five already open in my fridge.  It’s my superhero, you see.  A little bit with chicken pan drippings is insane; slathered over a pork tenderloin with black pepper, the whole thing roasted, gets praise from the in-laws; added to sautéed minced onion, cream, and just a dab of white makes a cream sauce that’ll keep your husband coming home and out of the arms of the local hamburger hangouts.

See that picture above?  That’s my fridge and as I decided to launch this blog with my favorite topic, I was shocked to see I was down to the lowest mustard count since my birth…only six open jars in the fridge, NONE in the pantry (my only excuse is it was after Labor Day and we just wrapped up what I call “Brat-Fest).  You’ll notice that I am an equal opportunity lover of mustard.  I buy the cheap (for those who really do want a hot dog); the textured (gotta love whole mustard seeds); and, some would say the fancy/expensive.  They all have something to offer.

Mustard is merely ground powder from mustard seeds added to vinegars or other acids and mixed with herbs, spices and/or other flavorings.  And, as with many of our favorite modern food accoutrements, this started in the old country, Europe or China, depending on what books you read.  The Germans made their mustards robust; the Chinese made mustards (and still do) that’ll burn your tongue off and clear your sinuses; the French made them subtle.  The Americans made it mass market.

So obviously it is what the mustard is blended with which makes each unique and different.  You can see the selection getting better and better on a regular grocery store shelf…whole mustard seed, hot, Country style, brown, beers, etc.  I invite you to give these guys a second look and maybe choose something other than just a yellow or Dijon. For a chance to dance with the superheros, wander over to your friendly local neighborhood specialty food store or explore your favorite food website.

I recommend the mustards of Robert Rothschild Farms, most especially Anna Mae’s Smoky Mustard which to this day, many years later, remains my favorite and is, hands down, the best in the business when it comes to eating straight with brats or mixing in a sauce.  This one is always in my fridge and takes center stage as you can see from the picture. Rothschild Farms also has an array of raspberry mustards (they started as a raspberry farm) to give you a choice of savory sweet to heat (they add wasabi).

Truth be told, nearly every specialty/gourmet food line offers their own selection and these are always full of flavor and surprises.  You will not go wrong plunking down the extra seven or eight bucks to give it a try and improve your taste buds.  It’s the cheapest date with a superhero you’ll ever have.

This BASIC Mustard Cream Sauce makes a really great meal better:

In a large oven-proof skillet, heat 2 TB olive oil and pan sear two thick pork chops (also works for chicken breasts…just salt and pepper, dust with a little flour, before adding these to the pan). Cook each side about 2 minutes on high heat until they are lightly browned. Remove meat to a plate and pull the heat back to medium.  Add ¼ c of minced onion to pan drippings and cook while stirring often two or three minutes.

Add 1 TB of white wine and reduce for 30 seconds.  Add ½ c. chicken stock and simmer for one minute. Add 6 TB heavy cream, cook one more minute.  Add 3 TB of YOUR FAVORITE MUSTARD, a dash of salt and pepper. Place the meat back into the pan and cook the whole thing in a 350-degree oven for 20 minutes.